Future Ladies Man?

There he is folks, CB in all his seven year old glory. And his new haircut. He informed me last night that he now has a girlfriend. She happens to be his teacher's daughter. Who is in the same class. So what I am trying to figure out is what do 7 yr old bf/gf's do? Share candy? Pick each other's boogers? There is no way I am ready for any of this. I have a sudden urge to go buy him footie pajamas with little bears on them and make him some chocolate milk in a sippy cup.
wwaaaaa!!!

Sorta Glowy-ish

See that? Thats not stockings. Or trouser socks. No sirreee, those are my unsunned, veiny, semi-seethru feet. You can only image what the rest of the leg looks like.

I'm going with...."dayglo".

I am what you might call transparent. Well, my "natural" is. In other words, after this gal has not seen sunshine in months, my God-given skin tone is pale. Very pale. You can pick an arm or boob, see a vein and basically follow its path throughout my entire body. My son, unfortunately, is also transparent. Bless his heart, from his face to his chest, eyelids and all are veiny.

I know, I know. Sun is bad. UV rays, melanoma, and so forth. My makeup has sunscreen in it, as does my moisturizer. Being that I'm (cough cough) aging, I would like to NOT speed up the wrinkling. And I wear sunscreen on my body as well. But ladies and gentleman, I am in dire needs of some UV. This girl neeeeeds some Vitamin D. I am counting the minutes until a few hours of warm sun arrive. And you can bet I will be laying on my deck in my underwear. Well, my bra really since my boobs have outgrown every bathing suit top I own and the new super-cute one I got on clearance for $6.99 (!) won't hold them either.

Mississippi has not seen much of a winter this year. And I really don't mind the cold so much anymore. But my bones are pleading for a warm sunny day, or two.

Other than me complaining about wanting sun, this post is pretty much over. No wisdom, no fantastic insight. This is why this blog is not titled "Very Interesting Life of a Fantastick Woman".

I am however, still worried about my husband. Or maybe HE should be worried about his own safety. About a week ago he told me I was wierd. Just this past weekend, he informed me I am OCD to the point of almost needing to be medicated. Whaaaa? Pffft!

Is One Leg Shorter?

When my granpa was a child he was hit by a car, drug nearly a mile and was battered, bruised, skull peeled back. As a man he grew to be 6'7" and the only signs of his childhood injury were he had a droopy eyelid, which he taped up daily so that he could see, and he had to have special shoes made because one leg was much longer than the other. He wore a lift shoe.
The point to telling you all this? Skechers Shape-Ups - yea, they are basically lift shoes. They only make short people look taller and otherwise rediculous. When I see them - which is horrifyingly EVERYWHERE - I think of my granpa with his black lift shoe on preaching on Sunday morning.
I have also yet to see a thin hot chick or guy wear these. I'm pretty sure they do not serve a purpose except making the company money and making people taller.

Pfft!

My husband told me approximately 6 days ago that I was wierd.

So I'm wondering (yes, still, 6 days later) if maybe he is realizing just how fabulous my uniqueness really is.

Or if, after 8 years of marriage (well, 8 years next month) he if starting to freak out about who he married. Does "wierd" really mean semi-impossible to live with? Does it mean I induce feelings of wanting to strangle oneself? Or even induce uncontrollable eye-rolling and unbearable waves of nausea?

Well. Shit. Regardless, he's stuck with it. Tough titty said the kitty.

Fantastic weekend wishes to you all! Peace & hair grease......

Career Path

CB decided that he now wants to be a cop when he grows up, just like Deddy. But HE is gonna be a motorcycle cop. (Well la ti da!) :)
Now thats has drastically changed since first he wanted to be a dirt bike rider. Then a rapper. And then a gym teacher.
He may be serious about this one though. He has me turn the scanner up so he can 'learn what he needs to do when calls in when he's a cop'. He's trying to learn the codes. And he actually listens when something is going on. Which may or may not be a good idea. But in all fairness we live so far out there are no weather sirens so the scanner is also our weather radio.

There was no point to this, except my baby has goals. Eventhough he hides and hoards food in every nook and cranny of his room, causing him to lose tv priveleges on a regular basis, this boy is aspiring to be something great!
So watch out people, he may be issuing your neighbor's daughter's babydaddy a DUI real soon!

You've Got To Be Kidding

So I got up this morning. No coffee. I sludged thru and made it to school to drop the boys off. Then went straight to McDonalds, got a #3with biscuit and a large Vanilla Latte. I needed that Large dose of caffeine. I was strugglin'.
Get my stuff, drive off. Get to office, the large cup is regular coffee and my bag has oatmeal in it. Granted I probably needed the oatmeal more than I needed the McMuffin and hashbrown but I was not in the mood. Turn around and go back and have them fix it.

Leave the office to drop off a bill, see that the clock in the truck reads 2:35. I like woohoo! Sonic Happy Hour. Man I wanted some ice cream. Ice cream machine "aint workin' right" as the young man put it. "We can't make anything with ice cream in it." So, no sundae for me. No big deal, I'll go to my next choice, Wendy's, and get a coffee toffee frosty. I could use the caffeine kick anyways.

"Ma'am, we don't sell those anymore." Seriously? What's a girl got to do to get some freakin' ice cream man! And to make matters worse, this new shiny Wendy's has one of those new shiny landscaped drivethru's you can NOT get out of. So to add insult to injury I had to sit and wait for the cars in front of me to pay and get their food before I could make my escape.

Last resort. McDonald's. I just had a feelin' this was not gonna go well. Ordered myself a sundae, paid, pull up to the next window behind an older woman in a minivan with two men as passengers. And I proceeded to wait. And wait some more. Meanwhile, the drivethru boy handed her a tray of drinks, which she looked at and handed back. Twice. Same with the two large bags of food. They were rifled thru then handed back. All the while, she has her arm out the window and is pointing at this poor young man who barely looked old enough to have a job. Pointing and fussing. And holding up a growing line of patrons. 15, yes FIFTEEN minutes later, she drives off and I am able to pick up my semi-melted, no longer hot fudge sundae. If there hadnt been trees planted opposite the drivethru window I would have said screw the $2, jumped curb and gotten out of there.

In the end I made it back to the office. With my cold/warm ice cream sundae. And then it hits me that last summer we had a kid leave our office and drop his McDonalds ice cream cone on the sidewalk. It took hours to melt, and left a permanent stain on the concrete. That can NOT be healthy.

Really?

Yesterday started off "shitty". Literally.
CB doesn't like to sleep in his bed, so he makes a pallet & sleeps in the floor. I go in and sit down on the floor and wake him up. But man it stinks in there! Ugh. Not regular little-boy-dirty-stink but bad. Really bad. After 30 minutes and the 5th time going in there to make sure he's up I yank the covers back only to find the source of the problem.

Wanna guess what lovely awesomeness I found?
Long yucky story in short form: Accident in sleep leaves to itchy butt. Which somehow leads to poop all over the bathroom sink and counter. And apparently also in the carpet. I mean what better place to wipe a dirty scratching hand than the carpet, right? Make sense?

I only share this in the hopes that it shames him in the future. Cuz approx 2months ago I discovered a similar smell. But more like a cat sprayed. He didn't want to walk to the bathroom so he decided to pee. In the floor. He's 7 people. Not 3. And I'm pretty sure at this point I can label him "Lazy".

I think someone should buy me a steam cleaner for my birthday this year. I need to return my sister-in-laws but I'm afraid to.

Never a dull moment. Or a a dirty-free one either.

Peace, love, and Odoban.