Simple Thoughts & Some Whatnots

Sorta Glowy-ish

2012-02-14T11:29:00.004-06:00

See that? Thats not stockings. Or trouser socks. No sirreee, those are my unsunned, veiny, semi-seethru feet. You can only image what the rest of the leg looks like.

I'm going with...."dayglo".

I am what you might call transparent. Well, my "natural" is. In other words, after this gal has not seen sunshine in months, my God-given skin tone is pale. Very pale. You can pick an arm or boob, see a vein and basically follow its path throughout my entire body. My son, unfortunately, is also transparent. Bless his heart, from his face to his chest, eyelids and all are veiny.

I know, I know. Sun is bad. UV rays, melanoma, and so forth. My makeup has sunscreen in it, as does my moisturizer. Being that I'm (cough cough) aging, I would like to NOT speed up the wrinkling. And I wear sunscreen on my body as well. But ladies and gentleman, I am in dire needs of some UV. This girl neeeeeds some Vitamin D. I am counting the minutes until a few hours of warm sun arrive. And you can bet I will be laying on my deck in my underwear. Well, my bra really since my boobs have outgrown every bathing suit top I own and the new super-cute one I got on clearance for $6.99 (!) won't hold them either.

Mississippi has not seen much of a winter this year. And I really don't mind the cold so much anymore. But my bones are pleading for a warm sunny day, or two.

Other than me complaining about wanting sun, this post is pretty much over. No wisdom, no fantastic insight. This is why this blog is not titled "Very Interesting Life of a Fantastick Woman".

I am however, still worried about my husband. Or maybe HE should be worried about his own safety. About a week ago he told me I was wierd. Just this past weekend, he informed me I am OCD to the point of almost needing to be medicated. Whaaaa? Pffft!

Is One Leg Shorter?

2012-02-06T11:28:00.002-06:00

When my granpa was a child he was hit by a car, drug nearly a mile and was battered, bruised, skull peeled back. As a man he grew to be 6'7" and the only signs of his childhood injury were he had a droopy eyelid, which he taped up daily so that he could see, and he had to have special shoes made because one leg was much longer than the other. He wore a lift shoe.
The point to telling you all this? Skechers Shape-Ups - yea, they are basically lift shoes. They only make short people look taller and otherwise rediculous. When I see them - which is horrifyingly EVERYWHERE - I think of my granpa with his black lift shoe on preaching on Sunday morning.
I have also yet to see a thin hot chick or guy wear these. I'm pretty sure they do not serve a purpose except making the company money and making people taller.

Pfft!

2012-02-03T15:34:00.009-06:00

My husband told me approximately 6 days ago that I was wierd.

So I'm wondering (yes, still, 6 days later) if maybe he is realizing just how fabulous my uniqueness really is.

Or if, after 8 years of marriage (well, 8 years next month) he if starting to freak out about who he married. Does "wierd" really mean semi-impossible to live with? Does it mean I induce feelings of wanting to strangle oneself? Or even induce uncontrollable eye-rolling and unbearable waves of nausea?

Well. Shit. Regardless, he's stuck with it. Tough titty said the kitty.

Fantastic weekend wishes to you all! Peace & hair grease......

Career Path

2012-01-31T09:12:00.004-06:00

CB decided that he now wants to be a cop when he grows up, just like Deddy. But HE is gonna be a motorcycle cop. (Well la ti da!) :)
Now thats has drastically changed since first he wanted to be a dirt bike rider. Then a rapper. And then a gym teacher.
He may be serious about this one though. He has me turn the scanner up so he can 'learn what he needs to do when calls in when he's a cop'. He's trying to learn the codes. And he actually listens when something is going on. Which may or may not be a good idea. But in all fairness we live so far out there are no weather sirens so the scanner is also our weather radio.

There was no point to this, except my baby has goals. Eventhough he hides and hoards food in every nook and cranny of his room, causing him to lose tv priveleges on a regular basis, this boy is aspiring to be something great!
So watch out people, he may be issuing your neighbor's daughter's babydaddy a DUI real soon!

You've Got To Be Kidding

2012-01-27T15:14:00.003-06:00

So I got up this morning. No coffee. I sludged thru and made it to school to drop the boys off. Then went straight to McDonalds, got a #3with biscuit and a large Vanilla Latte. I needed that Large dose of caffeine. I was strugglin'.
Get my stuff, drive off. Get to office, the large cup is regular coffee and my bag has oatmeal in it. Granted I probably needed the oatmeal more than I needed the McMuffin and hashbrown but I was not in the mood. Turn around and go back and have them fix it.

Leave the office to drop off a bill, see that the clock in the truck reads 2:35. I like woohoo! Sonic Happy Hour. Man I wanted some ice cream. Ice cream machine "aint workin' right" as the young man put it. "We can't make anything with ice cream in it." So, no sundae for me. No big deal, I'll go to my next choice, Wendy's, and get a coffee toffee frosty. I could use the caffeine kick anyways.

"Ma'am, we don't sell those anymore." Seriously? What's a girl got to do to get some freakin' ice cream man! And to make matters worse, this new shiny Wendy's has one of those new shiny landscaped drivethru's you can NOT get out of. So to add insult to injury I had to sit and wait for the cars in front of me to pay and get their food before I could make my escape.

Last resort. McDonald's. I just had a feelin' this was not gonna go well. Ordered myself a sundae, paid, pull up to the next window behind an older woman in a minivan with two men as passengers. And I proceeded to wait. And wait some more. Meanwhile, the drivethru boy handed her a tray of drinks, which she looked at and handed back. Twice. Same with the two large bags of food. They were rifled thru then handed back. All the while, she has her arm out the window and is pointing at this poor young man who barely looked old enough to have a job. Pointing and fussing. And holding up a growing line of patrons. 15, yes FIFTEEN minutes later, she drives off and I am able to pick up my semi-melted, no longer hot fudge sundae. If there hadnt been trees planted opposite the drivethru window I would have said screw the $2, jumped curb and gotten out of there.

In the end I made it back to the office. With my cold/warm ice cream sundae. And then it hits me that last summer we had a kid leave our office and drop his McDonalds ice cream cone on the sidewalk. It took hours to melt, and left a permanent stain on the concrete. That can NOT be healthy.

Really?

2012-01-13T09:11:00.002-06:00

Yesterday started off "shitty". Literally.
CB doesn't like to sleep in his bed, so he makes a pallet & sleeps in the floor. I go in and sit down on the floor and wake him up. But man it stinks in there! Ugh. Not regular little-boy-dirty-stink but bad. Really bad. After 30 minutes and the 5th time going in there to make sure he's up I yank the covers back only to find the source of the problem.

Wanna guess what lovely awesomeness I found?
Long yucky story in short form: Accident in sleep leaves to itchy butt. Which somehow leads to poop all over the bathroom sink and counter. And apparently also in the carpet. I mean what better place to wipe a dirty scratching hand than the carpet, right? Make sense?

I only share this in the hopes that it shames him in the future. Cuz approx 2months ago I discovered a similar smell. But more like a cat sprayed. He didn't want to walk to the bathroom so he decided to pee. In the floor. He's 7 people. Not 3. And I'm pretty sure at this point I can label him "Lazy".

I think someone should buy me a steam cleaner for my birthday this year. I need to return my sister-in-laws but I'm afraid to.

Never a dull moment. Or a a dirty-free one either.

Peace, love, and Odoban.

Another Calm-The-Freaker Tuesday

2012-01-10T09:12:00.003-06:00

"Lose weight." "Quit smoking." "Exercise more." Eh, whatever.
If you didn't love yourself enough the PAST 12months to make healthier changes, why on earth do it January 1st?
Meghan from http://meghansmindlesmuttering.blogspot.com/ had a good point of "letting go" this year. So what if the living room is full of blankets, pillows, etc from family pajama day?
And so what if the kitchen is not spotless all the time? People DO eat here.
(She is a hoot, by the way, you should stop over and read her blog some time.)

Then it hit me. "Let go." Let go? What?! How on earth does a semi-control freak with a touch (just a touch) of OCD let go? Thats like saying "Hope you have a wonderful day! Dont forget to cut your arm off!" Thats when my "what ifs" kick in.
You know what Im talking about. What if preacher from a church we visited stopped in and there are dirty dishes and an empty bottle of wine on the counter? What if he wanted to use the bathroom but the guest bathroom (aka "the boy's bathroom") smelled so strong like pee that it nearly knocks him over when he turns the light on?
What if someone my husband counsels stops in and theres dog poop on the porch? (We have an idiot dog who insists on droppin his load on the deck, not the grass. ) And then he might step inside the house and theres 13pairs of muddy boots to step over just to get thru the laundry room? What if said person tripped over the boots and fell - all over the sandy muddy floor?

Geezus man. I'm getting all hot-flashy thinkin about it. My pulse if racing. There's my problem. I'm so far out there on the "What-If" spectrum I should probably give myself a title. Or start a support group. "Mrs. If"
The thought of letting go, not worrying, knowing you cannot change people or things sounds sooo freeing. Like skipping barefoot through a peaceful field of wildflowers in a long flowy white dress.
Then. You step in cow shit. You're barefoot and have no wetnaps to clean the dung off with, no spare pair of flip flops to put on and you're covered in chigger bites and your eyes are swelling. See, these things happen people!

So I cannot "resolve" this year to NOT be so what-ify cuz lets be real. That ain't gonna happen. Its just how I'm built. But I will, not matter how freaked out I get, whatever situation I come across or try to over-prepare for, I will consult God with all decisions, worries, angers.
In reality no matter how we try to control (ahem) a sitation, if our plans are not coinciding with His, we're screwed.

Go forth: quit your cigarettes, stop eating potatoe chips, take deep breaths and count to 10 before you strangle some inconsiderate fool. And then each morning tell Him that you will let Him handle it all.
And maybe make a therapy session. Or two. Depending on what your insurance covers.

Another Chestacular Tragedy

2011-12-14T14:58:00.004-06:00

I have no clue what was wrong with my last attempt to post on here. What was all that anyway? Well, I don't have anything today either except this picture. Company Christmas Party this past weekend out of town where they also sprung for our hotel room. Can we say "Mini Vacation"?

Here we are. I have to learn to pose. Or close my top. I always end up with wierd things going on with my boobs. What is that? I was going for cleavage but no one told me "hay P, your boob's out". And oh my GOSH - is that a ManHand? I have ManHands now? Fanstasic.

Square Is Better

2011-12-08T14:53:00.005-06:00

Burger. Activity. Boil. Some words are more interesting after you say them over and over.
Go ahead, give it a try. Art. Turn. Cake.

Anyway. No idea where that came from but I do have a new random fact for ya.
I am not a fan of pointy fries. That's right, pointy fries. Something about going through a drivethru and getting a large order full of pointy fries is irritating. Like being given the bottom of the barrel.
One time when my husband and I were dating we stopped at a McDonald's in podunk, MS (Eupora, MS to be exact) and sat inside and ate. He poured his fries out and picked out all of the square fries for me. Not many a man would share the square fry with his girl.

I have provided a visual for you, in case you are having a hard time understanding what is a pointy fry and what is a square fry. Square is better.
**This message was brought to you by a bored MS woman with nothing exciting to blog about but fries and words.

Thanks and Giving?

2011-11-23T10:13:00.003-06:00

I have lots of thinks to be thankful for. And I will be blessing my husband's family with the GIFT of my silence during much of the day. Thats right, if you don't say much then there's no chance of saying something you shoudln't. Or adding new ingredients to a big ole pot of drama.

That's pretty much all this post consists of. No long laundry list of things I am thankful for becuase I am thankful EVERY day, not just one day or month of the year. No sappy love stories to share or cutesy kid stories you prolly don't wanna hear anyway.

Go forth, eat much, drink some wine and don't stir the Drama Pot. Amen.

Oooo Weeee!

2011-11-07T15:34:00.002-06:00

Looks like my tiny little speck of "the internets" has been neglected. Shame on me.
However not much fantastic has taken place. Heres the quick rundown:

* Second grade is not meshing well with ConnorB. Currently we are failing Math.
* Mom&Ray came for a visit few weeks back. Very good visit, quite relaxing.
* Had flu. Or something like the flu, thought I was going to die until I got a shot. Best shot ever.
* Hubbs & I attended a Halloween costume party as Ellie Mae & Jethro.
* MasonB did not bring home deer on 1st day of youth season, but I know he will next time.
(He better. The freezer is empty and I want some deer jerky!)
* My all-grown-up nephew and his Marine platoon deployed but I get to FB chat with him often.
* I did a 7day body cleanse called "The Cleaner" and thought it would make me feel better and not double over with bubble guts. I was wrong. Very wrong.
* I have been officially disowned by one of the most important people in my entire life. It hurts, but is the result of doing what I believe is right. God will take care of the rest.
* I found a thinning/balding spot on the back of my head near my neck. Awesome.
* Hubbs had surgery to remove the tumors they found and they are negative for Cancer. (Yes!)
* I made a cake for a benefit auction and it brought $50 how great is that?
* Currenlty trying to ward off the fall/winter blues. Caffeine and prayer are working so far.

That's all I've got. Pretty much sums up the last several weeks.
- Over&Out

Small Word, Not So Small

2011-09-23T10:23:00.004-05:00

Life. When it tightens its grip around your body making it difficult to breath and move and be free.......turn your face upward and close your eyes and ask Him to handle it. Know that He will breathe new life into you and your circumstance can and will change. Have faith.
We worry our lifes away on things which never happen, and some that do but cannot be changed. If we take the energy it requires to worry and use it to increase our faith we might have less to worry about.

(So it seemed to sound profound, but I get it. Its one of those 'easier said than done' things in life. And now I have George Michael's 'Faith' stuck in my head. Wisdom + Flashback = Strange)

Walking Away

2011-09-07T09:15:00.003-05:00

A lightbulb went off in my head. Enough is enough. In my last 35years I have spent countless hours worrying, crying, trying to give advice. Countless hours praying for a change or a revalation. I know with all my soul that I cannot make a person change.
Its not so easy to sit back and watch.
Its not so easy to feel your hands tied.
With my hand in God's, I am walking away.
I can do no more.

What's With That?

2011-08-31T14:10:00.002-05:00

Its happening. I may be losing my mind for real.
While flipping through my desk calendar at work I see that I wrote my own birthday on it.
Why? Hell, maybe I thought I would forget it. But there it was in red ink: "Berfday".

And then I realized I wrote my OWN birthday on the wrong date.

Tidbits

2011-08-25T14:39:00.002-05:00

I know a lot of random bits of information. I realize this more and more lately. Like everytime I see an ice cream cone I remember that you should always put a mini-marshmallow in the bottom of the cone before the ice cream. Keeps the melting ice cream from dripping out of the bottom of the cone.

Ages ago someone told me that when you see the cows in pasture eating, it means the fish are biting. I can't remember what I cooked for supper last week but man do I remember when its time to go fishing! (Although I fish a lot less than I would like.)

I mistakenly fed the rabbits the wrong food, found out that they will NOT die if fed chicken food.
Don't laugh - the humidity got to my brain and after I fed the donkey, the horses, the pig, and the goats I got mixed up and used the feed in the wrong stainless can. It could happen to anyone. And I am fessing up now becuase its too late for DearSweetHusband to get mad about it now. Since he didn't know. But he does now.

Speaking of DearSweetHusband he told me once that you put bone meal on rock or fence and it will create a beautiful moss growth. Makes ya wanna try it, doesn't it?

Its true you learn something new every day. Problem is, why on earth do I retain these little tidbits, but can't seem to remember that I'm out of coffee filters. So I dumped out and washed the last one to reuse it becuase its too far of a drive into town to get more.
(Don't judge, at least I'm not reusing toilet paper!)

I should start writing all of these down. Or maybe not. Maybe I should start writing down the important things, like "send more lunchmoney to school". Or "buy dog and cat food". (Poor things, the farm animals eat well but the poor domestics just can't seem to get fed on a regular schedule.)

What have you learned today?

The Wrong Spray

2011-08-03T13:57:00.004-05:00

Tease, poof, smooth, spray. Repeat. Tease, poof, smooth, spray. Repeat.

This was my routine to attempt to heighten my otherwise thin and flat hair so it would appear more volumous for the class reunion we were going to last Saturday. (This was my husbands, not mine, and it was a reunion for everyone who graduation in the 80s.)
I would know maybe 2 or 3 of the people there, and most of the people there didnt know he had remarried. To a younger women. My goal was to appear much younger and sortakinda cute.
So I reached to do the final spray and doused my super-fab hair. I wanted it to be dance-proof and sweat-proof. But I grabbed the wrong bottle.
Oh man did I ever grab the wrong bottle.
I realized I had just used the Lemon Scented Extra Stiff Fabric Starch.
Oh yes. And I had zero time to rewash, dry, curl, tease, poof, smooth and spray.
In addition to the odd smell it now had, my hair turned out to be a flat hot mess.

I smiled and was super nice to anyone who acknowledged me. And laughed when my husband told someone "I paid her a lot of money to come here and pretend to be my wife!" and even smiled super-big when he walked me around to where the "high school snobs" were sitting while he grinned like the Chesshire Cat.
But the more I laughed and the more I danced, the more I sweated.
And the more I smelled of lemon.

So I guess the word of the day is "Karma". Cuz many many posts ago I wrote and laughed about how Boo also used a "non-hairspray" product on her hair. That post has officially came back to bite me in my flat-haired southern arse.

(you can only see part of the whole picture, my hair is long, to my bra strap)
And what the heck is going on with my boob? What is that?

Planned Distraction

2011-07-22T09:21:00.003-05:00

It was time for my annual "Lady Bits Checkup". Oh yes, the dreaded once a year uncomfortable appointment we all hate. So I decided to spice it up a bit. Besides the obvious, I have this thing about having my feet and toes being all up in the doctors face after I've been wearing flip-flops all day, so I bring socks. This time I wore these.

The nurse said "Wait a second....you were NOT wearing those when I drew blood earlier!"

The doctor laughed and said "At least they came with instructions." - all while examining my business. Next time maybe I'll look for a pair of light up elf socks or something of that sort.

And I know for a fact I am not the only woman who brings socks along. The above are available at Rue21. ha!

Sweet BabyDog

2011-06-25T17:41:00.001-05:00

Our beloved Shugar is gone. Rest in Peace sweet girl.

If my better half brings home another dog for myself and the kids to get attached to I will choke him.

Amen.

2011-06-25T16:58:00.003-05:00

In flight my thoughts scatter as many directions as the wind will take them.
Scattering, flying, landing.
Rolling down a sun scorched cheek
allowing the heart to feel ease.

In ease my breath offers a whisper to my heart
of the many loves of a life lived.
Of loving a child and man who's soul is woven into my own.

My arms stretch outward to accept new flight,
new breath, new blooms in the rose garden of life's landscapes.
Inhale, exhale into my core the new flutters of life.

Don't be naive by the shadow in my eyes.
It is not a shadow but a twinkle of a woman who spreads,
and breaths and adds paths to her life moment by breathtaking moment.

What appears to be simple isn't always so.

2011-06-22T19:57:00.001-05:00

Artificial wings on artificial Angels
Artificial faith from a bended knee
Clasp your hands and shut tight your eyes
He knows of artificial prayer and artificial lives.

-P

....All The Leaves Are Brown.....

2011-06-13T10:52:00.003-05:00

You cannot force a person to change.

You can however pray the Lord puts a spark in their heart to want to change for themselves.

And you can pray hard year and after year and still have a wounded heart when you feel that nothing will every come of it. This is where faith comes in.

Faith or no faith, I still want to stomp my feet and scream and speak exactly what is running through my mind. What would come of it but nothing?
If a man of nearly sixty years old has not learned to be the man he is supposed to be in all those years, how will prayer possibly him change?

I have made made my fair share of questionable life choices. I've been married more than once. I've been broke, really broke. I have also been depressed and had days where I didn't want to get out of bed and go to a job that I hate. And I have had days where I went to bed and wished I didn't wake up for days. But when it comes down to it, you have to get up and do what has to be done whether you like it or not.

I can only imagine that after many tough years you get worn down. Feel too tired to do what has to be done. My only worry is what happens to the one(s) you're supposed to be taking care of while you are busy being worn, and tired, and faithless?

The single most heartbreaking moment of my life is when my 80 year old grandmother looked me in the eyes and said "I don't know how much more I can take. I don't know what to do with him anymore." Hours later I had to get in the truck and drive 500miles home leaving her there while my heart broke.

All I can do is rely on faith, faith that the Lord will find a way to keep his loving arms around her while she waits day by day wondering if the man she raised will help her that day or stay engulfed in his own world oblivious to the things around him.

I suppose we all cope with the things life has thrown at us in different ways. I also suppose not everyone can bounce back and snap out of it and do what has to be done. I pray an extra prayer for those people. The ones who are around you are suffering. I also pray that if I one day find myself in that valley of life, someone is praying for me that the Lord reach his hand out and pull me up.

*Maybe some of what I write seems a little too personal, maybe "family business" should stay in the family. And maybe I'll only leave this post up for a few days until my heart feels a little better.

Kleenex - A Booger's Best Friend

2011-06-09T13:45:00.004-05:00

I have two young boys in my house, which means I can spot a booger a mile away. Whether they wipe it on the wall, the boxspring, the curtains, wherever. So how come an older lady appearing to be around the age of 70, handed me an envelope at my job with boogers on it? Did she think I was naive and would think "Aww, she smeared sweet peas on her envelope while making out her bills. How cute!" .......... No Ma'am!
I even asked a coworker for a second opinion, to which I received a response of "eyewwww!", which confirmed what I already knew.
Please ladies and gentelman, soap and water really are you friend. And Kleenex comes in travel sizes too!

Random Thursday

2011-05-19T15:07:00.002-05:00

Oh, seems its been a while.

*Another full moon. (We all know the freaked out freakers surface at this time.)
*A week of working out of town.
*A few more dead chickens, which means another dead raccoon successfully trapped with a honey bun.
*Springfest where I ran into a sweet young lady I haven't seen since she was six.

*My better half is trying to make me think I've lost my mind by throwing random things into a conversation then acting like I'm hearing things. We were talking about our trip the other morning and he throws in "if the pots too hot drink the milk" and so there I am at 6am with one eyebrow raised like "what the hell?" so we keep talking and "if its too high call Humpty Dumpty". Seriously? Stop messing with me. He looks all innocent and says "Are you ok? What are you talking about?" "123" That! Thats what I'm talking about! Are you on crack?

*There's a certain 12 year old at my house who now has to shave his upper lip.
I am not ready for that, so I will deny it all and pretend thats just dirt. At least for another two years or so.

*Zumba has brought me to the realization that my booty don't quite shake the way I thought it did. Or the way it used to. But hay, I'm @5 less thigh dimples away from smacking that bathing suit on.

*Leaving in 3days to head to Louisiana to see family. Splitting up a 7 1/2 hr trip with a "teen" who listens to his metal and rap music super loud on his cell phone ear buds, a sassy, tad-bit OCD 6year old who is obsessed with my iTouch and likes to sing outloud, and a grouchy-in-the-morning man who's bladder needs emptying about every 90 miles. This should be freakin' awesome!
(I'm the driver. Can you legally make a 12 year old drive? What if I say I have health problems. Making mental note to check driving laws in MS for the next trip.)

*With the exception of one pair of capris, I am packing nothing but sundresses. This has never happened. Ever. Don't like showing the knees. Now that my legs are a little less 'bird' and a little more 'meat' aw what the hell, why not?

*10 consecutive days of no work. Should I raid someone's medicine cabinet and steal nerve pills for the trip, just in case? Family stress has been known to drive people over the edge and I'm not much of a drinker. (really, should I?)

*I gave myself a french pedicure. Quick and easy. And makes my giant big toes look even bigger. This mess is coming off soon!

*Wish I could hire someone to come in and clean my home while we're gone. I hate coming home to a dirty house. And tons of laundry. Especially stinky boy laundry. You know, the kind you wash twice and use extra fabric softener and it still smells like feet and pits? That kind.

*I have seen more people run smack dab into our office door this week, even though the big sign says "Use Other Door". Its quite amusing.

*I really irritates me when people use the drivethru windows to chit-chat - or like the other day a dude in front of me said he had 2 orders. Wanna know what he wanted on that second order? Tthe drivethru girls phone number. I shit you not.

That's all I've got. Thats it. Maybe I'll have some amusing stories or pictures to share after we get back. Like how many times I hear the words "he's on my side!" or "pull over I need to pee again". Just the super awesome things you come here to read about.

Stay safe on the upcoming Memorial Day weekend. Don't keep your money in your bra and then use it to buy things. And don't wear a maxi pad with a bathing suit, its just wrong.

Boys Grow to Be Men

2011-04-20T11:56:00.007-05:00

When you were small you stood in water puddles in overalls and cowboy boots saying "Hay, watch me!"

Now you will be facing a new world unlike anything you can possibly prepare for, in BDUs and combat boots staring it all down declaring "Watch out for me."

You are a confident man, proud of what you are doing.

A man determined not to have your future handed down to you.

You inspire me. You make us so very proud.

Get there. Do your duty. Come home.

And when you lay your head down at night be sure to thank our Heavenly Father for your safety. I will.

I love you. (Aunt Patty) :-)

One Goat Shy of Being a Nutjob

2011-04-13T09:38:00.012-05:00

Lets see....Lets see.....where to begin.

First off, I was searching for some sensible, comfortable navy shoes to wear with my work uniforms. Amazon has wonderful search properties that allow you to narrow down color, size, heel height. This is what came up:

Who wears this? I did not search "Ho Shoes". I searched for size 8 1/2 (may or may not be my correct size) Navy Sandals. This is NOT that. I ended my search in frustration. Plus I was distracted by thinking about what you could possibly wear (or NOT wear) with these, and wondering how many playboy bunny wannabes actually wear these in public.

Next subject.

Me and the "fam" will be trying once more to go south and visit my relatives in approximately 6 weeks. 5 1/2 really but I'm only counting because with gas currently at $3.72/gallon its gonna take me that amount of time to save for fuel to get there and back.

Anyway, the usual visit is separated between relatives; parents and step-parents, granparents, etc. We usually try to squeeze in a little entertainment of sorts for the kids so they don't come back home texting their friends about how miserable that trip was. There are a few that tend to do the whole "gah, youre still so skinny" and look at my husband like "do you feed her?" and "you are so pale, you need to get out in the sun. Have you been sick?" . Oh yes, its awesome. I make for quite the subject of conversation.

Being that I weigh 10, or 20 or so maybe 40 pounds more than the last time they saw me, I figured I no long have to hear the weight comments. I am however resembling the complexion of a hoarder that has not been outside and seen sunshine in 5 years. So I go to the tanning bed yesterday on my lunch break. Gonna relax to Mexico for a few minutes. Not wanting to smell of burnt skin when I go back to work I pull out some body spray and give myself a few squirts before getting dressed. This is what I sprayed with:

VS Island Escape Sugarcane Body Mist.

Nice and beachy, hint of vanilla with a "turch" of Hawaiian Tropic smell.

But now there's a problem.

VS Island Escape Sugarcane Body Mist + Tanning Bed Roasted Skin = Ham.

I'm sitting there looking around and then I look down and pull my shirt out and take a sniff. Damn. I may be a hair of a shade darker but now I'll spend the rest of the day smelling like country ham. Don't ask me why, and I dont even care to KNOW why something normally sweet smelling now has me smelling like I need to be on a plate with a side of cathead biscuits and redeye gravy. All I know is that it was gonna be a LONG afternoon. And by 5:00 I was starving.

Additional things I have learned in the last week:

*Doctor hopping and over-medicating is NOT good for a person's body or sanity.

*Clydesdale horses like to look in windows, love apples and will flick you with their lips if they don't get enough.

*Goats are not people. Ok, I already knew this. I love my goats, but with the exception of "Freddie" I would not shed a tear if any of the 12 we have out there were sold or heaven forbid we were so poor have to put one on the grill. Some people need to put as much effort into their people skills as they do their goat-loving skills and they might not be considered a nutjob.

*Twelve year olds will in fact survive when grounded from their cell phone and Facebook.

Have an awesome week. Peace and hair grease.........

2011-04-11T10:09:00.001-05:00

"Those people who keep their faith until the end will be saved." (Matthew 24:13)

Who's Boobs Are These & Where Did They Come From?

2011-03-22T14:41:00.002-05:00

Once again it might be time to upsize the bra size. My butt has outgrown the "pennies" in my drawer so I'm debating on just no longer wearing any until my boohonkey decides to stop growing.
("pennies" is what ConnorB used to call panties)
That is my contribution to the "TMI" portion of my Tuesday post. Glad you enjoyed it.

On another note, I recently became painfully aware of how unchanging people can be. Times change circumstances, means of communication, lifestyles. You name it and eventually everything changes.
My home is now Mississippi, although I grew up in Louisiana. I have heard the word "Nigger" here more than anywhere else I have lived.
And I realized on Saturday how open people are with these feelings when an older man looked me in the eye and told me our gathering was "a little too integrated" for him.
All of this because my husband's dear friend came to enjoy some good food a good times with us.
I was embarassed. Appalled. And generally mad as hell!
I won't sit here and claim that I've never made a racial slur, that would make me a hypocrite, a liar.
I won't state that I have never had an issue with "changing with the times".
I try not to impose my beliefs or feelings on other people. In my 30something years I like to think that I have been pretty open-minded about other people's beliefs.
I have no way to describe out blatantly rude and inconsiderate those words were to me.
No I take that back. I will describe it as I felt at the time:
I have never in my life heard something so f***ng rediculous! It pissed me off!
(Pause)
Yea, I think that covers it.
After it was all said and done I think we all had a good time. Jimmy and I realized how lucky we are to have a few people in our lives that really matter to us. It is nice to know when things are down and out who stands by you and can be counted on and who could care less.
Blood relation doesn't make someone Family. And a man's skin color doesn't mean he can't be.

The Calm Before The Storm

2011-03-08T10:35:00.005-06:00

There I stood looking up trying to see what this "eye of the storm" was really like. Everything was silent. The neighborhood was vacant. Not a car on the road. The sky was gray, the rain had stopped. Unsure of the potential impact of this storm, my mother, sister and nephew left and drove to a safer location. I felt brave, staying behind with my father.

Here I am some twenty something years later, standing out there looking around trying to determine the strength of the storm that stands before me. Swirling and moving around in silence. Everything is still gray. Will it dissipate before it makes an impact, or will we find ourselves walking straight into it hand in hand, this time with our bravery and faith coming from our Heavely Father.

The paths of our life storms will never be mapped out. There will always be uncertainty. In my eyes I have seen that good people at times have had to weather more storms than most. How much can one soul face in a lifetime? How much peace and strength must we draw from our Father before a single soul might find some peace and rest?

Several days from now we will get an answer as to what we may have to face. We will see if we will be able to sit back and breath a sigh of relief, or will it be time to board up the windows, make preparations and face this thing head on?

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7

Sweet Goodies

2011-03-02T14:05:00.001-06:00

Saw a Krispy Kreme truck parked at a local Exxon this morning and had the uncontrollable urge to rob them off all their warm delicious goodies. But I refrained. Then I saw this.

P.S. I am NOT obsessed with food. Previous posts about marshmallow santas and girl scout cookies mean nothing!

This and That

2011-02-17T15:33:00.002-06:00

I love Girl Scout cookies. Trefoils, Thin Mints. All of them. Thin Mints are awesome if you let them get cold in the freezer then crumble on top of ice crean. Or cool whip. When we buy them we usually hide them from the kids. So far this "cookie season" I have only bought two boxes. Way less than the usual he buys 4 and I buy 3 or 4 and we both say "Oh, I didnt know you were buying any!"

**I just realized I never blogged or posted about the holidays, New Year's or any of that. Hubbs had surgery just before Christmas and so we had to cancel our trip back home to Louisiana. Oh well, at least I saved yall from reading many boring details and facts like the Girl Scout cookie shpeel I just typed.
I did get new dining chairs, a Kindle and a gorgeous ring. Only problem is now he says (about my Kindle) "when I bought that for you I didnt know I'd lose you to it". See I like to run to the kitchen on a weekend morning, get my coffee then go crawl back in bed and read my Kindle. Then 2 hours later he comes in and says something along the lines of "are you going to stay in here all day?"

On another random note, my granma has finished her last treatment and is on her way to feeling better and getting back to normal. Or some level of normal that breast cancer SURVIVORS can find. Notice the emphasis on SURVIVOR. That she is, and I'm sure she'll be back to giving my mother a hard time about things and getting back to snacking on the never-ending supply of candy she used to keep.

Think thats it for now. Random, uninteresting. But I probably made you want to go buy some cookies, right?

* There was no literary "flow" to this post, nor did I proofread this post for grammatical or punctuation errors. Who cares.

Dislikes

2011-01-31T14:24:00.002-06:00

I do not like cleaning out the "stuff" from the dish drain that is left with the clogged water and nasty floaties when people leave food on their plates and try to rinse it off. The raw chicken fat bits are the worst.

I also do not like the "shake-me-squeeze-me" type WhiteOut pen. The shake part has new meaning now that I have excess...er...skin under my arm. Think I will stay with the kind that rolls out nice and smooth like tape.

A Hallway Into Life

2011-01-21T20:13:00.004-06:00

Reflecting back on my life is like watching a slide show.....in slow motion.
Blips and lines in the film, slide by slide.
I can shut my eyes and see vivid, touchable color, followed by blips of gray like looking through a smoky room. Blinking doesn't clear the image; memories that you feel but can no longer put an image to.
I stand in a hallway barefooted in a long flowing white cotton dress, gazing upon a row of doors.
A gentle push on a weathered door brings to sight all those things which have made me smile or laugh over the years. Colors of great feeling, textured paper lining the walls. Cool to the touch as I press my cheek to the wall running my hands over the surface. I can smile here, twirl here, breathe free here.
There are also those doors which are fastened shut, maybe for only good reason.
We each have doors fastened shut for the rest of our years which are never meant to be reopened. These are the mistakes or toxic choices that we have learned from and have moved on.
Learn and move on.
Keep walking gently down the path, revisiting old weathered doors while filling new rooms with trinkets and paper lined walls, always stopping along the way to kneel and reflect on the strong hands which have been guiding me along my journey.
I am proud of these doorways, though maybe not the things contained in them. But they have made my path lie where it is at this place in time and that is important.
I hope to see bigger rooms to fill and a garden in which to grow lillies and tulips.
Maybe a Weeping Willow visible from the windows of each room, swaying in all its glory. Bending with the weather of life but always strong.
What an amazing life with so much more to come!

The Nose Knows

2011-01-20T08:35:00.002-06:00

A woman just left our office, smelling of a powdery-type perfume scent. Smelled just like my Granma Jean's house she lived in in California. This house was huge in my little eyes. It had an underground pool, a bear rug downstairs in the den which I remember laying on rubbing myhands through the fur.
My mom, sister and I used to go for the summer and leave my dad at home to work and take care of the cats. I remember it felt much sunnier there than it did at home. I would spend what seemed like hours on the concrete steps of the pool, clinging so hard that my toes would be raw and bleed. To this day I still can't dive or stay under long without the holding of the nostrils.
And though it wouldnt quite go with my current decor, I sometimes I wish I had a giant bear rug to lay on and read a book.

Just A Spoonful of Love

2011-01-17T13:13:00.001-06:00

I miss being 6 years old sitting at my Granma's snack bar while she stood at the stove making me oatmeal with nutmeg, raisins and tiny bits of apple she cut up just for me.

Friday Brain Farts

2011-01-07T14:22:00.002-06:00

First Friday of every month we get to wear "business casual" to work rather than uniform. Well "business casual" can kiss my boohonkey, I wore my corduroys (which make my butt look good) and cowboy boots today.

Tried to get gas this morning. Had to maneuver my truck around 4 different times until a spot opened for me to pull up and pump. Must you really block the pumps when you're only there to get a cup of coffee and gossip with the ladies making biscuits?

Had hot chocolate and corn dogs again this morning so I ate healthy for lunch and at this moment have had no chocolate and feel as if I might flip-out at any second. (Theres something really good about the first corn dogs straight out of the grease smothered in mustard for breakfast.)

Hubs and I have successfully locked the kids IN the house two nights in a row (yes i said "in") and had an hour to ourselves to chill in the hot tub. By the time I got out and managed to grab a towel and my flip flops, the drops of water on the deck had turned to ice. Cold icy flip flops suck.

No plans for this second weekend of the year except waiting for this snow to hit. (haha) Meteorologist predicts up to 8inches of snow this weekend. (Which basically means it will be raining, humid and 55 degrees.)

Stay safe, say your prayers and kiss someone you love today.

Should Be Blonde

2011-01-06T13:45:00.005-06:00

I spent the last 10 minutes scouring my desk and area for mypencil.

I had it earlier. I know its here. Where the heck is it??

Ugh!

Then I realize its in my hair holding my bun up.

Open Letter to Russell Stover

2010-12-31T14:12:00.004-06:00

Dear Sir or Madam,

In an effort to live a healthier 2011, and prevent another thirty pounds from entering the various parts of my body, I regretfully deny the strong urge to continue to support your yummy-treat-making company with my habits. I have put much thought into this decision and feel that my pocketbook and my boohonkey will greatly benefit from this.

Please assist this process by refraining to advertise your yummy goodness in every store I enter, as I must resist the marshmallow santas, marshamallow jack-o-lanters and marshmallow bunnies. Please accept all apologies and understand I will also feel the pain of this decision, and I hope the large loss of sales does not result in loss of jobs at your factory.

Regretfully Yours,

-P

Grrrrr

2010-12-29T14:05:00.002-06:00

I despise packing tape dispensers. Hand me a roll of packing tape and a pair of scissors and I'll go to town. Hand me a dispenser and I'll get all tangled up.
So I taped up something I have to return because its defective. Put that little box into a big box and crumpled and filled the empty space with printer paper and proceeded to tape. And tape some more. I was on a roll, and only jacked up the tape once!
Here's the problem. I log into my email to print my packing slip. And the instructions say "Remove all power cords and accessories from box. You will use these for your replacement."
You know what that meant. (SIGH)
Slice open all the tape, remove all crumpled paper, find little box, slice open the tape on THAT box, remove accessories and cords, start taping from scratch. Dadgummit.

Ups and Downs of My Heart

2010-12-19T07:01:00.003-06:00

Do you ever see someone and as you walk away feel that it was the last time you may ever see them? It puts such a dark sadness in my heart, wondering if I made every second count. Did they see me as happy or could they feel that darkness in my mind?
The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me.
Excitement that a visit to see my granmas was just a few weeks away.
Angst and nervousness that my husband was suddenly going to be going under the knife again. Praying so hard that our Father allows him to wake up and come back to us.
Worry that if he doesn't wake up, how do I function? How do I try to make the boys' lives be as normal as possible if he were gone? How would I make myself get out of bed each morning?
And then there was sadness that I wouldn't be able to make the trip home.
Am I missing the last chance I might have to see each of my granma's before something happens? One is getting feeble and even conversations are just not the same anymore. The other has battled with breast cancer this year. Had a masectomy and is going through treaments. Maybe I was releived that I wouldnt have to be normal around her this year? Selfish as it sounds, I am not sure I could have "kept it together" and not emotionally crumble when I saw her with her hair falling out.
Maybe all of these feelings are rooted in selfishness. I know deep in my heart that my God will take care of us no matter what happens. But my mind will not give my heart rest, or vice versa. I've done this my whole life.
When I was little I used to put my favorite things in a little blue denim purse and hang it on my bed post in case there was a fire while I was sleeping I could grab it and run out of the house. Now when it sneaks in I just want to run away and sit in a quiet place until I can get my heart to settle and make myself realize that none of these things matter. All this time I spend worrying with the "what ifs" I have lost so much time seeing wonderful things happen.

Now for an emotional 180: I won a pretty fab tiny digital camcorder at the office Christmas party the other night. Think I'll charge it and use my time to catch some of those pretty wonderful things in the next few days.

2010-12-07T16:03:00.001-06:00

Taking a mental break for a short bit.

Every Day Give Thanks

2010-11-24T15:42:00.002-06:00

We should thank our Heavenly Father each day for the blessings he bestows upon us.

At some point in life it is time to sit down and take account of how you say or show your gratitude.
Do you go to bed each evening and say that generic "thank you for the gifts you give us"?
Or does your heart feel it, and your eyes sometimes weep for how grateful you really are?

Every day, as if He is sitting next to you with a protective arm around you and this is your only shot, Thank Him.

Really?

2010-11-03T16:21:00.004-05:00

Again? Another moron day full of stuttering?
Rather than tell the nice lady that was leaving to "Have a good day" I said, and I quote "Have a goo way."

On another random note, had a dude stand in front of me and pick his nose while I counted his money.
Lovely.
I just love me some people who lack manners.

Hermits Love Their Shells

2010-11-02T15:40:00.002-05:00

The time of year is nearing where I draw back into my "hermit phase". Where I want to just sleep, stay in my jammies, cook, snuggle, watch the tube, read a book. Just be still a while. Plus deer season is opening so I will be able to do that a little more with one or two less males in my house to clean up the pee and dishes after.
Now if only the day would come where the youngest would get to go hunting. All day. Every day of the weekend. Then I could run around in my underwear reading books and baking pies while Hoarders repeats play on the tv. (Ok thats a lie about the underwear part. I have to wear head to toe fleece or I freeze.)

November is here and rain and cool weather came with it. Less than 8 weeks until we trekk south to Louisiana to see my family for the Christmas holiday. Oh the dread of driving that far with a 12 and 6 year old in the truck. I have a bigger truck than the one we drove in last time. But its still not big enough to prevent the "he's touching me" "he's on my side of the middle" "tell him to stop talking" "he's getting on my nerves" "shut up!" marathon. Since I don't see well at night and Hubby hates to drive, we can't drive all night like we used to while the 2 heathens sleep. Oh well. I will start practicing my nerve-calming breathing exercises now.

On a side note, ConnorB's class have been given Indian names, part of their Thanksgiving lessons and such. His is "Shy Turtle"..........couldn't fit any more perfect.
I asked him "Why did they chose that name?" and he answered "Because when people try and talk to me I just hide in my shell."

oh yea

2010-10-26T16:27:00.002-05:00

Woohoo, lookie me......Someone's been peeping on my blog. I added one of those counter thingies last week just to prove to myself that someone other than me and my mother and Boo are browsing around in here.

See below for ConnorB's picture of his Mis-Match outfit for Red Ribbon Week at School.

Love the socks? They're mine, have giant ghosts on them. They come up to his thighs. Ha!

Scars

2010-10-21T08:39:00.005-05:00

I glanced at my hand today seeing the scars on my fingers.
They remind me I have a temper that over the years I have learned to control.
I look at the scar on each forearm.
They remind me that teenagers do dumb things but grow up to be just fine.
But I share my life with a man who has the most beautiful scar I've ever seen.
It starts at the diaphragm and stretches all the way down nearly to the pelvic bone.
It includes a false belly button, as his is no longer there.
There is also a tiny scar on each side of his abdomen.
They all came together, from the same chapter in his life.
Time is approaching to have that scar reopened then sewn back together. And each time this happens it becomes more and more beautful.
We each have chapters in our lives that when closed, have contributed to who we are today and the lives that we have lived. Some of us have scars that are visible, others carry their scars on the inside.
Had the man I am blessed to call my husband not been shot fourteen years ago, then the path to me might never have happened. He might still be sharing his life with someone else, and I might still be doing the same.
When I see that scar, I am reminded of the mercy our God shows on his children.
I am reminded that each chapter in our lives, good or bad, is only a stepping stone to our grand finale, our final chapter.....every page of it beautiful.

Whatnots

2010-10-20T20:11:00.005-05:00

Not quite able to let my mind relax tonight. Baby is out of town at a conference. ConnorB's already asleep. And I'm on critter patrol. Spotlight and rifle at the back door. The deer are moving and Shugar is making it known she doesn't like them out there. Granted, she can't quite get them, all the way across the creek through the kudzu to the goat farm. But all little dogs have a bark bigger than their bite.

Missing my honey tonight reminds me that I have come a long way in the past ten years. I am thankful for friendships reconnected, regardless of the time or circumstances that have passed. I am thankful that I can appreciate those people who were only meant to be in my life for a certain amount of time. Though my trust in people has not grown much, my faith in our Heavenly Father has. When you find people in your life with whom your heart feels at home, consider it one of His blessings.

If there were anyone in this lifetime you could go back and put your arms around and hug, who would it be?
If you could spend tomorrow morning having coffee with anyone you've ever known, who would it be?
If you could pick up a phone and apologize to someone who would it be?
If you could offer forgiveness, would you?
Do you have someone in your life who you can sit in silence with?

I'm not so much a "shoulda coulda woulda" type of thinker anymore. More so an "oh well, lesson learned, move on" type. There are a lot of things I cannot remember - is it because it was unimportant, or didn't have an impact on the woman I am today? Maybe so.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
See, a restless mind makes for choppy thoughts. 9 hours from now I'll be buzzin' off Cafe Bustelo, tackling lunches, flat ironing my hair, getting in school traffic and starting an average Thursday reminding myself "I like people. I like people. I like people."

And maybe one day I'll start taking notes on how a REAL blogger mom is supposed to write; all cutesy and witty, eloquent and smart.
......................Eh. Whatever..........................'Nite y'all.

Random

2010-10-19T14:38:00.003-05:00

Yes this is the second post today. My brain is a bit scattered lately.

If we purchased a lady friend for our pet Goat, a fainting goat, what would they produce? A goat that only faints part of the time? Is is genetically possible to breed the two?

I have boycotted the boy's bathroom at home. The toilet never seems to be without pee, either on the floor, on the seat, on the lid. So I just don't use it. Unless ConnorB gets a bath. Beware if you ever come visit.

I feel prettier in the Fall of the year.

Hearing about the troubles my Granma is having with her treatments for Breast Cancer wants me to run like hell to get my girls squeezed, even though at my yearly my doctor assured me there was nothing to worry about unless I notice something strange.

I am on my second laugh-out-loud book by Jen Lancaster. Love her!

Recent downloads to sing to in truck & dance like idiot:
"Dunkie Butt" by 12Gauge (circa mid 90's)
"Supersonic" by JJFad (circa late 80's)
(Go ahead and download them, you know you want to have flashbacks of big hair and blue eyeshadow!)

Boo and I have nicknames for people when talking with each other. We rarely use real names.

A mysterious varmit of some sort attacked and killed our puppy Pepper last week. Found her in a creek 30feet down. So the dudes in my home run outside with a rifle every time Shugar (momma dog) barks. If something happens to another one of our animals, I may be forced to go Rambo on Plum Point Road.

I give evil eye/stink eye/"the look" more often than I realize. Guess its a force of habit and I don't even realize I do it. (heeheee)

I wish my hair were thicker and I could sleep all night without waking 3-4 times.

I have a slight problem with not remembering whether or not I unplug things when I leave my house. I have been know to drive a mile back home to go into my bathroom and make sure I've unplugged my flat iron that I knew I turned off. I have anxiety over this fact. I sometimes sit in church nervous over "what if I left it on and the house catches fire?".

I stood outside when I got home yesterday for @15minutes and talked to Goat, PigPig, the chickens and MoeKitty. I'll probably one day have to be committed for such, when my family decides my wits have flew the coop.

Its been 6 months now since I quit smoking. (Go Me!)

I love to pull out coats for the winter and search the pockets for things forgotten; loose change, spare gum, that favorite chapstick I thought I lost.

I one day hope to discover the cure for male morning grumpiness.
( A legal way, not the ole "slip something into his coffee" kind of way )
(NO, I have never done this! that was a joke!)

Enjoy the afternoon........... -P

2010-10-19T08:03:00.006-05:00

Not until the 6 year old evil meanie got out of the truck and turned to get his backpack did I realize I let him go out of the house with the worst case of "bed head" and a mysterious dirty food ring around his mouth. (I say mysterious because he already brushed his teeth so I'm assuming he hid in the pantry again eating whatever he could find.) Please be sure to add me to your ballots for "Mother of The Year".

(side note: 12 year old evil meanie and 6 year old evil meanie both had excellent grades on their report cards!)

"T.M.I." for this morning.....I am doing the peepee dance in my chair as I type because someone that works here went to the back and stunk up the entire back half of the office. I have to allow for "air out" time before I can pee, because I am unable to hold my breath for that long.

Just Average

2010-10-13T08:11:00.005-05:00

Average # of times a 12year old checks his hair in the mirror on the way to school: 6
Average Time it takes said boy to take a shower in the morning: 25 minutes
Average # of times a 6 year old will growl because he doesn't like the radio station: 9
Average Time it takes to get said boy up and dressed and out the door in the morning: 70 minutes

Let's Dance

2010-09-28T15:06:00.002-05:00

"The leaves dance when they fall Momma"

Yes they do, baby. And I thought to myself how if we should all just get up and dance when the winds of life blow us down.

He can say such profound things sometimes.
Ok, maybe not profound. We ARE talking about the 6year old who forged my name (quite perfectly) on his behavior calendar last week.
I love this change of seasons. I went outside after dark night before last to put something in the shed and it was approx. 20 degrees cooler than it has been in months and I stopped in the yard. There I stood halfway between the shed and the house wearing my husbands boxers and white tshirt and boots, just breathing in the cooler air and letting the wind blow my hair. Just for a minute - it was fantastic!

"Naaaaaa"

2010-09-01T13:32:00.004-05:00

So PigPig is still missing. Got "word" yesterday she was spotted down the road and had torn up a lady's flower beds. Mas and I went driving around seeing if we could find her last night, the fatso has been missing in action for going on 3 weeks now. The 4wheeler was out of gas so we drove up to an overgrown corn field with woods, etc and got out with our little tin bucket of corn and started calling her. Every time we yelled, the goat who apparently could hear us way down the road, talked back.
"Cmere pig!" "Naaaaaa"
"PigPig!" "Naaaaa"
"Pig! Cmere!" "Naaaaa"
So I may be the only person on the planet that finds this rediculous story funny and my favorite commercial EVER is the AFLAC commercial with the goat in the office, but you just had to be there.
(by the way, "cmere" is Mississippi for "come here" in case you didn't know)

On a sad not, my hubbs is out of town until Friday. Same day Mom and Ray come for a weekend visit. He and I have only been apart from each other for an extended period of time maybe 3 times in the last 7 years.
( *sniff sniff* ) He left yesterday. I miss him already. And not because tomorrow is trash day and trash needs to be hauled down to the road, or because the 4wheeler needs gas and I can't find the gas can, and not even because I'm too lazy to cook and he has spoiled me by cooking all the time and the kids will have to survive off pizza and sammiches the next few days.
I miss him for real. I want to crawl in the recliner next to him and snuggle and doze off and drool on his shirt. I want to make his coffee in the morning like I always do and let it get cold just the way he likes it before I go wake him up. And I want a sugar dadgummit!
("sammich" is Mississippi for "sandwich" and a sugar is a kiss - I'm giving out all kinds of education today!)

Mundane Monday

2010-08-23T15:48:00.003-05:00

Nothing exciting to report. Loaded up with the husband, father-in-law and 2 boys and went fishing Saturday. In 100-something degree weather. Well, they fished. Fishing with ConnorB means you bait the hook, you hold his pole and so on. This was crickets thought. I can do worms. I can do minnows. I do NOT do crickets.
So i sat back in my little chair and waited for the next command to be barked out by the coniving six year old.

Played hookie from church yesterday. Spent a few hours up and down the road and woods searching for Pig. She's not been seen for 3 days now. Apparently she is quite the little social traveler. Everyone we talked to has seen her, she "goes back and forth" all the time, lays around in people's yards, and usually comes back home. Poor Goat is lost. He just walks around making noise, I'd bet money he's calling her.
It was kinda nice to ride around on the 4wheeler for a bit without children, squeezed up behind hubby. I miss that.

Hope everyone had a safe and drama-free weekend.

Friday Fabulous

2010-08-20T14:53:00.004-05:00

Oh yes, call me Fabulous. I came to work in "my natural". No hair product, no straightening iron, just pure natural nappyness. (That's probaby not how you spell that but its not a real word anyway so I can spell it however I want to.)

Nothing new and exciting in our neck of the county. Husband is about to leave me for a few days to go south to speak in some classes, which only means I get to crank the air up to 78 and walk around in a t-shirt instead of head-to-toe fleece. But i regret to say that this also means I will be serving children spaghetti o's, chicken nuggets and/or mac-n-cheese or whatever else I can serve on a paper plate.

Except for the occassional moron moments Boo and I have or something funny involving mine & Hubby's "critters" or children, there's not a whole lot going on around here.
We did spend the weekend on the river last week. Hubby & myself with his daughter Ash and her boyfriend and some others. Had a MUCH needed adult weekend with margaritas, rafting, sunshine and lots to laugh about. Being scatter-brained as I am though, I brought a camera but only took one picture the entire weekend. It was of my better half giving Shelley a french braid hairdo. Oh yes baby, he can cook, he's a handyman AND he can do your hair. (Jealous much?) Anyway, for not wanting to go but changing my mind at the last minute, it was such a fun trip!

Weekend around here holds not much but some relaxing and 100 degree weather. Again. Should probably start getting things ready for mom to come for their visit.....but......nah, they're coming to see us, not our house and how clean it may or may not be. To heck with it.
(Ok Suzanne, you know me, i'll still be scrambling to clean baseboards and ceiling fans at the last minute anyway, regardless of what I just said. Be quiet.)
Have a safe weekend. Wear sunscreen, the sun is killer!

Random Fact Tuesday

2010-08-10T10:47:00.007-05:00

I did a total of 80 situps yesterday.
I have worn the same pair of brown sandals all summer.
My cell phone has a "Happy Birthday Jesus" and an MS State sticker on the back, courtesy of ConnorB.
Even after I've made sure I unplugged my Chi iron when I leave, i'll text my husband to make him check too.
In the mornings I tell the goat hi by yelling "Hay Goat!".
I love the show Hoarders and lately American Pickers.
99% of the time, I will not buy something unless its on sale.
I like to stir tuna into my macaroni cheese. This disgusts my husband.
I don't pour syrup on waffles or pancakes. I dunk it.
I am very selfconscious about my feet.
I gave my husband a pedicure last night.
I still know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".
I usually pray while I'm in the shower.
My right eyebrow lifts when I talk.
When I'm nervous or mad I get red blotchy spots on my chest.
I love cereal. I could eat it for every meal of the day.
I believe you find a few of the wrong people in life so you can really appreciate the right one.
I do not like walking, standing or talking in front of large groups of people.
I hate to talk on the phone.
My favorite blanket is a feather blanket my husband gave me when we dated. Its my "woobie".
I sometimes stutter.
I forget things often, but remember the rediculous unimportant things.
I irritate my 6 year old by repeating things, to make sure HE doesn't forget.
My favorite smell is fabric softener.
I worked out in the yard while it rained last Saturday.
I say "Good Mornin" all day long.
I can tell my best friend "bite me" "oh shut up" or "just drop it" and she never takes offense.
I am about to turn 34 years old.

"Taters"

2010-08-09T13:19:00.003-05:00

Around my house the yucky stuff in the ears is called "taters".
ConnorB, out of the blue yesterday, says "the taters in your ears are nasty!"
So I reply "Well yea, you shouldnt' eat anything out of your ears."
His replied matter-of-factly "well, huh, they DON'T taste like peanut butter!"

I had a mental picture of him on the bus or at recess sitting next to a kid saying "Trust me! It tastes just like peanut butter!"

Extras

2010-08-03T16:39:00.002-05:00

I caught a glipse of my facial profile today. I will keep my head held upwards from now on. If i look down even to the slightest degree.....i have a second chin. Is there a reason that I did not realize this before?
A stranger, a customer in our office came in yesterday and said "you puttin' on some weight aren't you? are you pregnant?"
Hm. Wow. I have two chins.

No Wind

2010-07-12T15:22:00.002-05:00

"Momma, can you tie this?"
So I turn around and fasten the red cape to his neck, and out the door he runs.
About 20 minutes later he comes stomping in "UUGGHHHHH!!!!" as loud as he can.
"What's wrong?"
"There's no wind for me to use!"
I somehow forgot I just tied a cape on him, and asked "What do you need wind for?"
"TO FLY! UGH!" and off he went.

Medical Attention

2010-07-07T15:37:00.003-05:00

At what point should one seek mental assistance?
If you ask Boo, she'll say I should have gotten some ages ago.
I tried to explain how the shirt I put on at 7:14 this morning is now much tighter in the chest area at 3:39 this afternoon. " I think my boobs have gotten bigger today."
(yes, that does sound like something a pre-teen would say in hopes that the so called "chest exercises" she does really DO work.)
I decided after a few minutes that it was the salt. Lots of salt intake today; rings won't come off my fingers, shoes are WAY too tight, etc. So she tells me "Feet and hands yes. Boobs no."
I beg to differ. Even after she added in the question "Did you get caught in a rain shower? Maybe the shirt shrunk."
Hm. Maybe the both of us should seek some mental health assistance. Or just die our hair blonde.

Mundane Monday

2010-06-28T14:45:00.003-05:00

So I just realized that I have a large amount of animals. Too many really. Shugar and her puppy Pepper, and of course we now inherited baby daddy Rufus. Moe the cat. Goat and Pig. And I only thought that when my husband sold the chickens that meant we'd have less animal responsibility. Whatever, I knew better. (Besides my porch being covered in puppy poop, I discovered yesterday that Goat uses the mud flap on my truck to scratch his butt.)

Last week was Bible school, and though I had an enjoyable time helping out in the kitchen each night, I had a slight reminder that there are good reasons I do not run an orphanage, or become a foster parent.......such a large amount of children (sweet as they are) might drive a teeter-tottering crazy person right over the edge.
Bless their little hearts.

What else....my granma had surgery last week (masectomy) and all tests came back negative which means no radiation. (yay!) So as a reminder to all females out there.....(and men, they can get breast cancer too) go and have your boobies squeezed. Better safe than sorry!

Will try to add more later. Have a wonderful week! :-)

2010-06-21T11:32:00.001-05:00

There is something to be proud about when a 12 year old pulls out his wallet and puts his own money in the offering plate at church.

"Whatcha Doin' Here?"

2010-06-16T14:04:00.003-05:00

In a hurry this morning I set out ConnorB's medicine for the babysitter to give him when he woke up. He is usually awake and already had it when she arrives in the mornings. I left in a hurry. Got about six miles down the road and my mind said "did you put out the right medicine? did you check the bottle dummy?" I knew that I had, but my brain was making me doubt myself. So I freaked. Called, and she did not answer. So I turned around in the nearest driveway, sped home as fast as I could.

I pull up to see him in the middle of the yard in sock feet in the wet grass. In his hand is a long yellow rope he is spinning around sort of over his head, which I can only assume he was trying to use to catch his goat who had gotten up on the pinic table. (He like to hug on his goat every morning. If the goat is up on the picnic table, it makes it much harder for him to do this.) He turns his head, sees me, and takes of running. Up the steps onto the porch as fast as he can, he picks up Shugar's new puppy from the settee and nearly throws it back into the dog bed, sits down and says something along the lines of "Whatcha Doin' Here?".

So I run in, check the bottle and my brain says "dummy, you knew you put out the right one, what'd you waste 15 minutes of your morning for?" and explain quickly the temporary lack of sanity to the sitter. So I go outside and attempt to explain to Connor that the puppy (only about 5 weeks old) cannot be put on the couch. If it falls off, it will break its neck and die. He's not quite listening. I'm sure he did it again as soon as I left.

2010-06-11T15:15:00.004-05:00

Friday Recap

2010-06-04T09:39:00.005-05:00

Last week Hubbs, Connor and myself spent some time camping at the lake. My sweetie worked his tail off getting camper set up, everything ready including hanging my hammock so that when I got there, there was nothing to be done. Did some swimming, lots of relaxing. ConnorB played his heart out and made lots of new friends. Came home Monday feeling like we needed a vacation from our little vacation.

We have determined that our limit is now roughly 3 days of "quality family time" in a camper with a child before irritability sets in and the fun starts to sloooooowly seep out the window. We figured this out on or around day number five.

We did have some excitement when around midnight Friday I woke to a lot of noise, opened the camper door to look outside when the wind just about blew it back at me. A storm. A bad storm. I said "OH.....CRAP" in what seemed like slow motion. So Hubbs jumped up and ran outside in a full wardrobe of only plaid underwear. In a sleepy fog we, with the assistance of a neighbor who also wore only underwear, took down the canopy and scurried to put away anything that might blow away. Another lake not far from us had trees down, quite a bit of damage but we came out just fine. No lawn chairs lost. No damage.

So hot outside.....

2010-06-02T13:58:00.002-05:00

Sign at the bank says 90 degrees. I think they're thermometer is crap. Feels more like 102.
I haven't blogged in a while and will catch up and post new pics soon.
Until then smile in knowing you do not have my job. I just had a lady snatch her check out of my hand and say "Fuck You!" before turning around and stomping out the door.
Hm. Not apparently not ALL Southerners have manners.

2010-05-10T13:25:00.003-05:00

I have finally graduated. It has taken 33 1/2 years, but I have finally graduated to a size 6. (So it's maybe not a FULL size 6 but I'm no longer a 4 either so be quiet!) Yea, I'm sure everyone is tired of my talking about it. ( I know Suzanne is!) But in lieu of my growing up all birthday gifts this year should be along the lines of gift cards and such being as though I have one pair of jeans and a small handful of shirts which I can now wear that do not look like they were bought for a child. Just thought I'd throw that suggestion out there. My sweet hubby did give me some shopping money for MOther's Day.....It's safe to say he's tired of seeing me wear the same pair of jeans and hanes t-shirts every weekend.

Speaking of graduation, ConnorB will be allowed to graduate Kindergarten next week. Do expect a whiney post about "growing up too fast" stuff and maybe a few pictures.

Hm what else. Thats about it. Baby got a new goat last week, but the man wouldn't sell the goat unless we took a pig too. So now there's Freddie the goat and his best friend the pot belly pig at our house. We have yet to decide a name so I call it "PigPig" . When PigPig lays down to take a nap, Freddie lays down too with his head on her belly and they sleep.
That about covers it, the boys are anxiously awaiting summer break, I'm waiting to put my new-and-improved-bigger-booty in a swimsuit and Hubby is loving watching his garden grow.

Sing As If No One is Listening

2010-04-29T15:52:00.003-05:00

Connor: Turn the radio off when we get to my school.
Me: Why?
Connor: Cuz
Me: You don't want anyone to hear Mommy's radio?
Connor: No
Me: You don't like Mommy's singing?
Connor: No

Well......guess he put me in my place. As he gets out I say "I love you!" and he replies "I know!"
Tomorrow I'm gonna put on something older, maybe 80's ish and roll down my window as I drop him off. I might even YELL the I love you part. :-)

".....and if i had the chance i'd ask the world to dance.....and i'll be dancin' with myself...oh oh......"

Hunger

2010-04-14T16:47:00.002-05:00

Did it again, ate breakfast then had to eat my lunch around 10:30. (this in total consisted of a fruit&grain bar, an orange, a banana, a ham and cheese sandwich and a bag of chips) So i had to search for "rations" come lunchtime. I settled for an order of chicken nuggets and ice cream. By 3:05 I walked to the pharmacy next door and purchased and consumed a large Rice Krispie Bar and a Mounds. Its 4:49 and it will be another hour before I get back to the town i live in, pick up the pizza Hubby ordred and get home to eat it.
Maybe its the full moon but my BELLY cannot get full. Doesnt make a difference if i stuff myself on pasta and bread, I am miserably hungry within 2 hours.
Oh - and as a side note - after 33 (or is it 34?) years of battling the scrawniness i inherited from "Dear Ole Dad" I have finally started putting on some weight - with the added bonus of dimples! Yipee! Don't you just love a bonus!? So my shorts, pants, etc from last summer are hard to put on. And i completely underestimated the size uniform pants i needed for work this year. Really should have gone the next size up>

Hungry.....Again

2010-04-08T11:39:00.002-05:00

I hate when I get so hungry mid-morning that I eat my lunch to hold me over until lunch. Then I have the annoying task of having to figure out where I'm going to get lunch.

2010-03-31T10:28:00.003-05:00

Been walking around with my pants unzipped. Again. This time i estimate it was only for about two hours.

Last Sunday hubby didn't eat before we left for church. To avoid the stomach growling during service he stops at a gas station and grabs some hot wings to munch on the way over there. They turned out to be MUCH spicier than he anticipated. He starts digging around in the console of the truck and finds the bottle of water he keeps hidden in there for emergencies. **UGH!!!** Some choking and gagging follows. He lifts the bottle of water to the light and notices it doesnt even look like water, but more so of a watered-down, milky sort of chunky liquid. Of course some words fly followed by more gagging. "WHAT IS THAT?!?!" followed by more choking. And in the back seat we here a little voice say "I told ya!" "Those chips were spicy!"
Apparently days before Connor was eating chips that were too spicy, needed something to drink , washed out his mouth and spit it back in the bottle of water.

Hope you all have a great day and check ALL liquids before consumption!

"Fantastic!" (He loved that word!)

2010-03-18T15:47:00.005-05:00

Boo sent me a link today for http://www.findagrave.com/ so I plug in the information of the only death my memory holds. Probably due to the fact that it is the first death I have every really dealt with. This is what I see, which makes me smile and feel great sadness at the same time:

This was my Granpa (yes I know if misspelled it but that's just how I spell it.)

I was lucky enough to know both sets of Grandparents. My mom's parents lived far away so I didn't spend as much time with them growing up, though I have memories of riding on long trips in the back of a station wagon (with power windows and a third seat! this was uptown i tell you what!) and my Granpa Curt letting me ride his tractor. Granma Jean always had something to eat. A kid could not starve when she was around. And there was always snacks and candy. I was fascinated with the deep red color of the Oklahoma soil. I still have little jars of it taped up with duct tape stowed away in my cedar chest.

The picture above is my dad's father. He was a tall man, roughly 6ft7in. before complications from an annerism caused his legs to be amputated. This picture was taken at my mom's house during the holidays in 1995. He was quite the jolly man. Deep loud voice, deep contagious chuckle. He loved to drive his van, and he loved the hand controls. I think he occassionally used his "disability" as a reason to speed. Who's going to give a legless preacher a ticket? Really?

I used to sit in his study when he was working on the next Sunday's sermon and I would draw. If I talked too much or made too much racket, he'd run me out and me and Granma would spend our time drawing a chalk circle on the carpet and play marbles.

Its so funny the things I remember. Because frankly I barely remembered my husband's birthday which was 2 days ago. So these thoughts are a little scatterbrained today. But this picture just made me think. I wish our boys had that. The stuff we used to have years ago with our grandparents. I used to take road trips with mine, morning coffeemilk was a must. And I'm willing to bet that if my mom and step-dad lived in the same state Connor would have that. I imagine he wouldn't even let her go to the grocery store without him.

I'll have grankids one day. And I'll be drawing chalk circles in the carpet too.

Nasty

2010-03-15T16:22:00.002-05:00

A man who did not speak English came in the office with his wife/female companion. She translated all I had to say. Got them set up and ready to go. However, the entire 20 minutes they were here he proceded to pick/squeeze/mash something on the side of his neck, smell whatever came out, then wipe in on his shirt. Seriously. He did this 5 or 6 times, until he moved to a place on his chin and repeated the whole process. The language barrier cannot possibly be a reason for him to think he is invisible and no one can see him. He might as well have been picking and eating boggers.

Homework Woes

2010-03-04T20:14:00.003-06:00

I rarely post at night, and definately not twice in one day. But let me just tell you what happened......I rarely drink ok. If I do, I will have a glass of wine on the weekend. When I got off work today my brain was dead, mush...not functioning too well. Just a draining day. Get home and decided to be "out of the box" and grabbed a beer *gasp* from the fridge. I thought my husband was gonna fall over. He was like "Was your day that bad?"
I drank my one beer and ate my pizza, did my usual piddling around the house. About an hour later Mas asks me to help him with a homework booklet he had to have turned in for tomorrow. No problem I thought, although I did wonder why we waited until the last minute to get it done.
Want to guess what the project book was on? Go ahead I dare ya.
Not drinking, and the dangers of drinking and the bad advertising alcohol companies do to get kids to think its cool. We had to think of examples of tv shows where drinking is protrayed as cool, read a comic on how adults should not use alcohol as a stress reducer and so forth.
So there I am with beer on my breath trying to help him complete this homework, feeling as small as the eraser bits on the paper from where he misspelled a word and had to rewrite it.
Did this really happen the one day out of the year I actually drink a beer?
Geez.

Sneaky Devil

2010-03-04T08:56:00.003-06:00

Got home last night and hubby said "Connor got a bad note on MOnday, I've already talked to him about it, but we need to find the note and send it back tomorrow. (This was on Wednesday.)

Ok, so i'm thinking where's the note? It's usually in the snack bag he brings back home every day.
"Connor did you get a bad note on Monday?"
"Stop talkin' to me."
"Where did you hide the bad note?"
"Back there, behind the door. It's not mine."

I locate it and see that mysteriously, the name does not say "Connor". It has a girl's name on it.
The little devil erased his name, put another child's name in its place, put it back in the bag then hid it behind his door.
Now I know its "tradition" or whatever you want to call it for children to try to forge their parent's signatures on report cards or things of that nature as they get into grade school. But we are talking Kindergarten people. Five years old. And he used his best handwriting to write this child's name in.
Maybe instead of getting sneakier as he gets older he'll just go backwards, and be the sweetest most honest child come Senior year.

Ugh

2010-02-26T15:47:00.003-06:00

Friday afternoon, "happy hour" is almost over. (Thats what Boo calls the longest hour of the day, 3-4 PM) and I just managed to tell someone to have a "goo reekend".
Either someone is slipping narcotics in my camoflauge cup of water I keep at my desk, or I have developed a speech impediment at the ripe age of thirty-three.

On a side note, ConnorB is mad at me. Again. "You UGLY! You're not supposed to clip my nails! Not I can't scratch!!!" I heard this repeatedly last night.

So now I'm ugly, I have a speech impediment and pretty soon I'll be wearing my house shoes to the grocery store. ..... ...... Wait, I think I've done that but only once. I'm ok.

pblpblpblasdfiiplr

2010-02-25T14:38:00.003-06:00

Yes, exactly. Thats what I have been doing today, stuttering letters and sounds and making no sense at all. And I have been caffeine-free since 7:30 this morning. I actually told someone to have a "gool" afternoon. I have heard sounds come out of my mouth mid-sentence when there's supposed to be a word there.

On another note Ash will be here this weekend. (That's my step-daughter who lives away at college.) ConnorB will be soooo excited. He always stops in his tracks when she comes in and screams "AHHHHHH!!!! SISSSSSSY!!!!!!!" To the boys, their Sissy hung the moon....everything she says and does is good as gold. I should probably tell ConnorB and use that as a bribe to make him behave until she gets here (that was her suggestion) but I'd rather him be surprised when she gets home.

It Has Changed

2010-02-24T15:01:00.003-06:00

Not having grown up here most people still don't know me. If they do, I get a "Aren't you Jimmy's wife?" And for the past few months I have random strangers ask me my name, then tell me I look exactly like their child's teacher. (I plan to get a yearbook when they come out and scope out this "twin" of mine being that this happens a LOT.)
But today I became not the "the girl that works at the such-in-such office" or "that tall skinny girl" or "Jimmy's wife"........my universe has shifted to the all-mighty mom mode.

"Aren't you Connor's mom?"
This is what I heard from a tiny little body barely able to see over my counter. Who in the heck is she? I don't have any idea. But she knows who I am. And felt compelled to show me that she lost her first tooth.
So I have to write myself a note so I don't forget, to tell Connor that Emily said hi.

P.S. I forgot the brag on hubby's cooking the other day....He made the BEST black angus burgers with smoked gouda, it took all this hungry girl had to finish it. It was a "bigun". :-)

2010-02-15T15:52:00.001-06:00

I keep catching a strong smell of toast today. Toast.

Total Suckiness

2010-02-12T09:26:00.003-06:00

Last week I posted a list of things I love. Today I will share one thing I found this morning that really sucks..

Having a hot flash while blow drying your hair, and you're standing below the air vent when the heat is on. Makes ya wanna shed your robe and run outside naked in the 23 degree weather.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Randon

2010-02-08T14:28:00.005-06:00

We loaded up and took Connor to ChukECheez last Saturday. We haven't stepped foot in that place since Mas was six years old. He screamed and semi-freaked out each time he saw ChukE "AHHHH I'm Scared!!!" Everyone in a 40 mile radius was there. Took approximately 45 minutes to get a plate of wings and cheese sticks. Not sure I would like to go back. Not when it is packed beyond capacity, over the fire code limit, with people lined up to get in.

On another note, the people that come in the office where I work I have determined will smell like one of four things: perfume, play-doh, bleach, or smoke.
No kidding. The number of people that smell like play-doh amazes me.

Also, I was thinking on my way to work today how proud I was of myself for going more than a week without forgetting to zip my pants. It had for some reason become a common occcurrence.
I spoke to soon. Sitting eating my lunch and I reach down to swat some crumbs off my lap and there it was.....dadgum unzipped zipper. I have no reasonable explanation for why I cannot remember to do this one simple thing. Thank God for underwear!

Rainy Thursday

2010-02-04T09:42:00.002-06:00

Lady came in this morning. Smelled like a freshly opened can of Play-Doh. No kidding.

Mason and I were having an intense conversation about yogurt on the way to school this morning. This is what we heard in the background:
"strawberry is my... "HAY"
"yea i like strawberry too and.... "HAY"
"and banana.... "HAY"
"i dont like..."HAY"
"peach kind with the pieces in..... "HAY"

"What is it Connor?"....... "Nothin"

Wednesday Words

2010-02-03T13:47:00.001-06:00

Some of my favorite words.....easy to pronounce but hard to remember:

Your faith must move your mouth before it will move your mountains.

Favorite Things

2010-01-28T08:52:00.004-06:00

I was laying there trying to go to sleep last night and started thinking about things I love. Simple things really, but things that just make me smile.

*Cereal with super-cold milk. I love cereal, just about any kind. Could eat it for every meal of the day. Add super-cold milk and I could live off of it.
*That first cup of coffee in the morning before Hubby and the kids get up. Turns zombies into humans.
*Crawling into bed on a cold night after you've had the electric blanket getting all nice and toasty for you thirty minutes before.
*Fabric softener. My favorite smell ever. If they made a perfume that smelled like it I would buy a gallon. When my truck gets to smelling "stale" I'll even put little strips of fabric softener sheets in the vents.
*Sleepy sugars. When Connor is asleep I steal the best sleepy sugars. He has no idea, and can't even say "stop it mommy!"
*Opening the door when I get home and smelling my Hubby cooking in the kitchen. Cooking makes him happy and eating makes me happy so its always a win-win situation.
*The perfect chapstick. I am a chapstick addict. To this day my favorite is Time&Again Soy Milk Lip Balm.
*Sunshine on your face when you're riddled with sinus/hay fever mess. I have about 2 times a year where i get the worst sinus/hay fever mess. And going outside when the sun is out seems to make it temporarily 100% better!
*Seeing someone you havent seen in ages and have them say "you look great!!" (Ok, so this hasn't happened yet but if it did, it would by far be one of my favorite things!)
*My Granma's recliner. No other place feels so peaceful. No matter what has happened in the past or present, the second I walk into her house and sit down there is no stress, no anger, no hurt, just peace. I cannot explain why, have never been able to.
*Sliding into Hubby's recliner at night, curled up with him under his favorite quilt. Never fails, knocks me out within minutes ever time.
*Hearing "Mooooommmmy.......me love you!" from another room. So what if it means he's up to something and has an alterior motive or has already done something he's not supposed to. For the few seconds before I find out what it is, I love it!

Cool Like That

2010-01-26T15:59:00.002-06:00

Ok so the boys and I pile in the truck Saturday evening to head to a gathering at The Slab , a small get together celebrating a few birthdays and just in general hanging out with friends. So I bust out my iPod Touch that Hubby got me for Xmas and thought we'd listen to something a little more "hip" than the usual country or old Rock 'n Roll while we wait for Hubby to get in the truck.
And I hear Mason say "awwww man! I never EVER thought my step-mom would listen to Soulja Boy!!!" "where did you get that?!!" and out comes the cell phone and he starts texting nonstop while boppin in the back seat. Maybe he was texting something along the lines of "she's not as old and lame as i thought she was" or "she rocks!". Ok, this is my happy thought so be quiet. Let me dream. LOL
Either way, Hubby finally comes out and gets in while we are singing "Stanky Legg" and says something along the lines of "why are they singing about stinky legs?"
So for a few minutes sitting in my driveway and the few minutes we drove to our destination, I had temporarily become the cool one.

(sigh)

2010-01-14T15:08:00.002-06:00

I wonder what might warrant a suspension from Kindergarten. Do they suspend five year olds? We have "racked up" two paddlings and I've lost count, but I believe we are at 11 or 12 bad notes sent home. Do they allow leniency for little boys that do not like to be laughed at, or have their personal space invaded? I'm guessing the kids in his class with not come to this year's birthday party....as the daycare "friends" did not last year. He only yells, punches, and kicks. (Yes, there has been a fork stabbing but that was a one-time occurrence!)

His words of love this morning were "You cant be mad at me cuz ME mad at YOU! Me hate you!"...........Ahhhh......the joys of having a complex child. But I still love him "giant much, big much, and little much".

Wednesday Rambling

2010-01-13T10:22:00.004-06:00

I am starving this morning. I feel like I could tear apart a buffet and leave the servers speechless. I did however find a mini-Twix and mini-Snickers in the far back corner of my desk drawer. I do not recall buying these. Gonna eat them anyway.

Why is it that when you feet get cold the tips of your toes hurt, like someone is holding a lighter on the end of them burning them? That is one thing about the cold that irritates me. That and spending countless minutes convincing the 5 year old that 16 degrees outside is too cold to wear your summer sandals, even if you are wearing socks and that yes, you have to wear a coat even if you have on long sleeves.

I have decided that I will create a Chore Chart for the kids. Not sure exactly how well said 5 and 11 year olds will react to this. But I have decided that if I work 40 hours a week i should not be spending every single day off washing, cleaning, scrubbing, picking up. Bacause of this I have zero life outside my job and my "housewifely duties".
I have made serious strides in my "must be clean and picked up" obsession and have even progressed to leaving dirty dishes in the sink for more than one day, two if I'm really irritated. Although I cannot stand to get up in the morning and have my morning coffee standing in a dirty kitchen. Gives me the heebie geebies!
I remember Saturdays being chore day for my sister and I. And I think we were allowed to watch cartoons up until a certain time in the morning, then it was time to start chores. Think its time to carry on that tradition. Pull out ALL dirty clothes, separate them and start washing. Luckily ConnorB likes the unload the dishwasher. Time for the other to learn how to load it. Oh i have so many plans for this chart. Wish me luck!

Thats about all I have for this morning. I am so hungry I can barely think straight. Time to scarf down the candy I found in my desk. Only 1 hour and 22 minutes until lunch.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2010-01-12T11:04:00.002-06:00

Short, loud woman came in yesterday with a purse in one hand, bag of popcorn in the other. Chomping and leaving little bits the whole way to the counter. She is usually fairly loud, cracking jokes, most of the time not making much sense like maybe she had too many sips before she got behind the wheel to drive up here.
After I explained a few things, none of which I'm sure she understood because she asked the same question approximately 5 times, she gives me a handful of money. I reach out to hand her her change and receipt, and place it on the counter saying "Thank You" as she was digging through this large purse of hers for only God knows what.
She looks up and hands it back to me. So I ask "do you want to put this on your account as well?" And I bet you $20 you cannot guess what she told me next.
"No. If I hand you MY money in your hand I expect you to show enough respect to hand it BACK to me in my hand." and she continues to mumble to herself as she leaves taking her bag of popcorn with her, but leaving the bits on my counter.

This is probably one of those times where one might wish they had the ability to say "Shut up and get out of my office!"

Oooooo Boo.........

2010-01-08T14:09:00.002-06:00

I have to say it has been a while since Suzanne and I have done something along the lines of "moronic" or "quirky".....basically, we haven't been our usual goofy selves. This is what she emailed me today:

the chain on the little flapper thingy in the tank that flushed the toilet broke last night so we had to use my salad tongs to reach in that cold ass water and flush the toilet....lol....guess i'll be playing plumber this weekend.

Heeeeheeeeheeee.....I can just picture her standing over the bowl saying "WELL, MESS!!!!" because I'm sure it took more than one try to get ahold of that "flapper thingy chain" with those tongs.

Thought

2010-01-07T14:19:00.002-06:00

Have you ever felt that what you do for a living is not respected because it is not viewed as "important" to most people? Maybe if your name tag said Nurse, Attorney, Police Officer that immediately qualify you for some understanding/respect from your peers?
Well - just an FYI - putting up with people's crap (aka. fast food worker, customer service rep, salesman, waitress) takes a lot of patience and deserves the same amount of respect as those who make $45,000+ a year.

A New Year

2010-01-05T14:05:00.002-06:00

So I haven't posted in a while. (And I have noticed more and more lately I start sentences off with the word "so") Last week or so has been spent recovering from the holidays such as cleaning, hauling off trash, getting firewood delivered. Still have yet to find real time to sit and play with my new sewing machine.
Kids started back to school today, which has hubby tickled pink. He can hit the woods in peace and quiet. And he did. At 6am this morning. It was 15 degrees. (Love him to death but sometimes I question his sanity.) He has hit the attittude stage of "grrr....i'm the manly provider", after deer #3 was processed and put in the deep freezer.
Pretty quiet New Year's Eve with friends, took all I had to stay up past midnight! I feel so old! But I spent New Year's Day in jammies hanging out at the house watching tube, and just plain ole piddling around. This year I will not make some rediculous unattainable resolution.
I simply plan to stand up straighter, drink more water, remember to take my vitamins and stop saying "Are you kidding me?". (I have apparently said it so much that ConnorB now tells me that each time I ask him to do something.)
So thats the plan. Simple.

2009-12-28T13:56:00.002-06:00

Hubby went to Walmart day after Christmas, and brought me back 4 packages each containing 4 Russel Stover Marshmallow Santas. Wooohooo!! He remembered how much I love them and stocked up! (Well, technically 16 Marshmallow Santas really won't last me that long, but anyway.)

What a wonderful lazy enjoyable Christmas Holiday. No rushing around driving here and there. Christmas Eve we set out cookies for the reindeer and deer jerky for Santa. This is what ConnorB said they wanted. Christmas Day was a jammie day. The family all came over for a big breakfast, the kids played. We all gathered the following evening for dinner and more Christmas celebrating. And the little one is still pooped to this day. So much playing and excitement he has worn himself slap out. Pictures will soon follow.

The most laid-back Christmas I've had in I can't remember when. Thank you Hubby for the wonderful gifts and to the kids for the wonderful smiles.

Something Nice

2009-12-24T07:44:00.003-06:00

I decided to pay for the person behind me in the drivethru again this morning. The lady at the window said "Whats up with everyone paying for the person behind them?" Apparently others already had the same sneaky idea as me this morning! How awesome is that?!
Do something nice for someone. Anyone. (anonymous and sneaky is more fun) You never know if the person you do something nice for is having a really hard time right now, and it may just put a smile on their face or encourage them to "pass it on".
I hope everyone has a wonderful blessed Christmas!

Also, I tried really hard today to swing my legs around and get out of my truck with my seatbelt still on. I don't advise it.

Addiction Admission

2009-12-22T15:52:00.003-06:00

I am completely, undeniably, absolutely 100% addicted to Marshmallow Santas. I've consumed roughly 20 or so in the last week. They rank right up there with Reese's Peanut Butter Trees (which have WAY more peanut butter than the regular ole Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!) I love Christmas Candy. Can't wait until the day AFTER Christmas. Instead of bargain shopping I am heading straight to the local WalMart and Walgreens and stock up on hoards of leftover candy! I can buy discount socks or tshirts any time, but not Marshmallow Santas!

2009-12-10T13:46:00.002-06:00

So yes, it's been a while since I put something on here. Lets see what has happened that I recall:
There was Thanksgiving.
ConnorB got his first paddling at school. (Yes, they still do that here.)
His newest favorite phrases are "Stop talking to me!" and "Your talking is hurting my ears!"
Mason shot his first deer, but it ran off never to be found. :-(
Hubby (who likes to keep the house at a frigid temp of 63 degrees year around) actually lit the fireplace last weekend. I finally got to shed a few layers!
FlyingMom, still recovering from her fall from the pecan tree, got her staples out and is able to drive herself places now.
I am only 1/3 of the way done with my Christmas shopping.
Hubby and a friend are throwing a 1980's party on Friday. Being that he was almost a teenager and I was just four when 1980 hit, this should be fun. Get to get all the gossip and stories about him when he was in his wild-child days. He used to blow up mailboxes so I'm sure his shenanigans were much more interesting/amusing than mine.
What else.
Oh! About two weeks ago Sweetie Pie fussed at me because I didn't reload my .22 after I fired it last. Well this morning, he spots "The Big Buck" from the bathroom window. Grabs HIS rifle, has the perfect broad side shot, and guess what? It wasn't loaded. Hahaha!
So no deer, and my bathroom window screen remains (thankfully) holeless.
(Yes, he was going to shoot it through the window in the bathroom.)
That all my brain has today.
That, and I have noticed that people are surprised when you tell them "Have a Merry Christmas!". Well, I really don't care if that is politically correct or not. It may be a holiday but its it Christmas.
So as everyone winds up their shopping, baking, freaking out.....Have a Merry CHRISTmas!

Random Wednesday With a Little Thanks

2009-11-25T10:57:00.002-06:00

"You know what? Me love you giant much, big much AND little much!"
This is what Connor B tells me at 6:00 this morning.
Thats a whole lotta "much" and I am thankful for it everyday.

Last time I had a stick-in-the-mud day I had to battle the wasp in my truck while a toothless woman watched. Made me realize I needed to lighten up. Well, Yesterday I awoke with a sourpuss mood once again. So I'm driving along minding my business singing and so I'm about to round this curve on a country road and what do I see? On the left side at the edge of the road was a dog sitting barking like crazy ..... on the right side is a large goose making all kinds of racket back at him. No kidding, I slowed down because I wasn't sure if they were gonna charge each other and did not want to explain to Hubby why there was fur AND feathers in my bumper. But these two were obvsiously ecxhanging some serious words for a Tuesday morning. That was one of the oddest things I"ve ever seen on my way to work. (Let's hope it was real and not a figment of my imagination.)

Later that day, I did manage to lean over, drop something in the trash can, lean up and whack my head on the door frame in the office.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for so many things.
Among them, I am thankful that my mother didn't break more than her arm when she fell out of her pecan tree two weeks ago.
Thankful ConnorB has not been kicked out of Kindergarten like he was Daycare.
Thankful that my Sweetie has been able to go another two 1/2 years without having to have another surgery.
Thankful for our jobs to support us, housework that reminds us we have a home and food and clothes.
Thankful for the bumpy, windey road that I have traveled the last 33 years that have brought me to where I am today.
Thankful for soooo many little things that people tend to take for granted every day. And glad I can REMEMBER to be thankful for them every day.
We should all remember to thank Him every day for our blessings, not just one day out of the year. (Or two days, some of ya might remember to thank him on Christmas too)
I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Holiday!

Weekend with Sweetie

2009-11-18T15:09:00.002-06:00

Relaxing in Hot Springs last weekend.

No children, no chores, no phones ringing, just us.

Sleepyhead

2009-11-16T15:18:00.001-06:00

Moron Monday

2009-11-10T13:03:00.002-06:00

This time is was not MY moron monday....but my sweetie's. He got home from running some errands yesterday and left the windows down in the truck, knowing he would have to get back in it later to go pick up Mr. Big Britches from school. When he leaves to do this, he finds a cab full of honey bees. (Yes, honey bees.) So he gets on Facebook to see if anyone can offer any sugesstions as how to remove them. My mom offered the advise of moth balls. Not wanting his truck to smell like moth balls (Ole Yella is more than 20 years old and already has its own unique smell) he decided to place a large chlorine tablet in it, roll up the windows and hope for the best.
Sweetie then treks up the hill and borrows his mom's car, he is strapped for time and unable to wait and see if the cholorine with eliminate the bees - he has to arrive in the pick-up line at school early enough to get in the first of 3 rows of traffic. He finds Mr. Big Britches, they load up and - guess what - the car won't start. Many many cars filled with mothers, fathers, grandparents all waiting to pick up children, are deadlocked. The first line has to be diverted into the second and third line of traffic while he figures out what happened. His sister, in line to pick up her son, comes by and gives him a jump-start. Off they go on their way home.
I was glad for once the Moron Monday was not mine. I do feel a bit embarassed for him, because if it were the other way aroung and he had to sit in bumper to bumper cars because someone broke down, he would give the serious evil eye to whomever was the driver.
***And as of this morning, there were no more live bees in the truck. Chlorine worked.

Ouch

2009-11-09T10:24:00.002-06:00

I used to love the skating rink growing up. I can even remember some of my favorite songs to skate to. My friends always wanted to skip out and walk the streets, etc but I wanted to skate. I remember sore feet the next day.
Well today I have more than sore feet. Took Mr. Big Britches to a birthday party at the skating rink yesterday. He would not skate unless Mommy skated. (Takes him to warm up to social situations - no CLUE where he gets that from!) So I did. Not bad I thought. We couldn't go fast, he didn't want to. Then came the game Wipeout. He thought it was a blast to fall down and yell Happy Birthday!" every time the music stopped. Of course, he's only 3 feet from the ground. I feel "Wipeout" this morning. 30-somethings have no business trying to relive skate dreams with their children. (But it was semi-fun) :-)

2009-11-06T14:40:00.002-06:00

You can be pitiful, or you can be powerful.....You can't be both!

Fall Sprinkles

2009-11-03T15:49:00.002-06:00

The morning has brought with it a beautiful rain of gold and amber sprinkles.......falling from the trees and their own breezy pace. As i drive down the road and look back in my rearview mirror I see hundreds swoop up off the road and fly so beautifully into the air as if I disturbed their peaceful sleep with my path. Such a wonderful time of year..........